openroadsong: May 2003 Archives

i float down the freeway, midnight, naked instinct contained, but barely by glass & steel, skin glowing in the dimness almost lit from within, intent on the sensations of leather & velocity & summer itself as it spills through the the windows, all imagery & innuendo. the things these things suggest are all impossible, as far as it goes, at least as far as it will tonight.

i take the grade fast, a thrilling descent out of the heat & into the moist coastal mist & the road unfolds & folds before & after me, roadsong filling the spaces between the music & my thoughts, whispering of distance & promising either catalyst or cataclysm, unless there is no difference; i know there is only one way i'll ever know.

tiny little overlit sprite of a thing hovers twenty feet maybe behind me with two clear lanes either side & i ease off the pedal, hostile, & think this faceless asshole a grisly death for as long as it takes the little shitbrain to finally jerk that pissyellow runt of a car out of mygoddamnlane & go around. i breathe deep, unclench & ease it back to fast as the night sky opens up over me, reminding me i am not free, not yet; my thoughts drift & yearn at every inviting sign, but the car gets off at main street, letting me feel every one of her miles. i do not resist, at least tonight.

the camera did not connect at requested speed, so i'm waiting for thirty seven hi-res to thumbnail into the contact sheet & glowing over the night that was. that is, i mean. is. bliss. so much so, i seriously doubt my ability to transmit it over these wires, even with dozens of fuzzy images & hundreds of blurry words.

ok: twenty seven images chosen for further reflection. patience, i whisper to myself, watching the green download bar creep across. at least three of these pictures are over a year old, they were on the memory card when i lost it; i believe i have a spider & a missed shot from a carnival. eight of twenty seven? that's it?

*much later*

& what if the story's never really told? it never was any less indistinct than any of the images which follow, there were really no edges on the night at all. boundaries were blurred, like the one between skin & air, stirring up such a benevolent chemistry; add a beer & a half, a great band, & friends, & the thought just trails off at this point, lost in the moment.

i do believe my old & non-wonderful camera may have been the perfect instrument to capture this. i can feel the night in these images, of course i'm still smiling, your mileage may vary.

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**note: the very strangely colored one is my graphics program's interpretation of 'auto-levels' when the only available light is a dark & vivid green. the last one? not sure why i did that, i generally don't, but tonight, it seemed right.